Marissa Schaefer Apr 05 2023

Find Your Confidence with a Boss Mare Mindset

3 minute read

Growing up, it was always the geldings for me.  All my lessons were with geldings, all of my friends owned geldings, and everyone told me to never get a mare.

So when I brought my mare, Fancy, home.. boy, was I in for a big surprise. She was so different from my gelding, Bo.  While all Bo wants is to be with me (and get treats), Fancy has her own agenda.

Don’t get me wrong - she is respectful, but she doesn’t need me.  And I found that extremely uncomfortable.  It was a new dynamic with an animal I’d never experienced before.

I’ll never forget a particular time telling my farrier all about Fancy and everything I felt was ‘wrong’ with her.  He looked at me and said “she’s not Bo.”

That was all it took for the tears to start flowing.  I’d be holding her to a standard that was unfair to her.  I was expecting her to be something she wasn’t.  And so I started to look at Fancy for who she was as an individual, not for who she was compared to Bo.

And I realized.. She’s a total bad*ss. She stands firm.  She knows her boundaries.  And she sure doesn’t take sh*t from anyone.

Fancy is a boss mare.  And I had (have) a lot to learn from her.


A boss mare (aka lead mare) plays an extremely important role in the herd.  She has extreme confidence and knows her boundaries and worth.  She stands firm when questioned and has respect from her herd.


A boss mare mindset takes inspiration from real life boss mares (like Fancy) and applies those principles of confidence and boundaries to your life and business.


I don’t have enough experience → I will continually learn and develop my skills.

Boss mares keep confidence and face new experiences head on.

There is only one way to get experience - action.  Don’t shy away from a challenge or opportunity because you think you aren’t qualified enough.  Use it as a chance for growth.

Find the right support - a book, a mentor, another professional, and collaborate to find solutions for the horse/client.  Continually take action to learn and gain experience.

I am going to make mistakes. → Mistakes are the price I must pay for growth.

When a boss mare makes a mistake, she tries again.

There is no way around it.  In order to be successful at something, mistakes must be made.  Mistakes and failures provide feedback and help us find the right course.  Making mistakes doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong - it means you’re doing something right.

Why would anyone listen to me? → Through time and care, I will earn respect.

Through her actions, a boss mare commands respect from others.

It’s so easy to think ‘why would anyone listen to me when they have (insert name)?’.  This is a hard one.. especially if you’re comparing yourself to other well-known chiropractors or practitioners in your area.  I get it.

You have something unique and special to offer just by being you.  Keep showing up, keep taking action, keep showing you care.  You will earn respect.

I can’t charge them this much money. → My skills are valuable and I deserve to be paid.

Boss mares know their worth.

Think of the time and money you put in to acquire your skills.  You deserve to be paid.  You deserve to make money.  You deserve to be successful.

The next time you’re at the barn feeling insecurity or doubt, I want you to think back to an image of a strong boss mare in a field who doesn’t need anyone’s approval - and remember you don’t either. Find your inner confidence and run your business like a total boss (mare).

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